Random musings from Toby
Welcome to the Rememebrium! Just what the world needs: another curated set of historical memes!
No, this is different, because these are memes and jokes that I say are funny, so there.
By default it should only show clean memes even when searching: you’ll need to work out how to get it to display rude jokes and memes.
You can find the Rememebrium here.
And here are a few SFW examples
A married couple became famous for not having an argument in 25 years. Local newspaper editors gathered at the occasion to find out the secret to their happy 25 year marriage.
The editor said: “Sir, it’s amazing, impossible. How is this possible?”
The husband began recalling his honeymoon days: “after our honeymoon, we began horseback riding, on different horses. I was lucky to have a gentle, kind-spirited horse.
My wife on the other hand wasn’t so fortunate. She had a crazy horse. As she was riding the horse, the horse began to jump wildly and she fell off. My wife patted the horse on the back, saying ‘this is your first time’ She jumped back on and we continued riding for a while.
Then the horse started acting wildly again, causing my wife to fall off once again. She didn’t lose her cool and patted the horse again, saying ‘this is your second time’.
Once again she hopped on and again, the horse jumped wildly and she fell off. My wife pulled out a revolver and shot the horse dead.
My jaw fell to the ground. ‘What the hell are you doing? Did you just shoot a horse?? What’s wrong with you?!’, I asked her, shocked and bewildered.
She looked at me, ‘this is your first time’.
from the internet
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Dive into the heart of the Post Office Horizon IT scandal with our Strapline Showdown. We’re hunting for the sharpest, most fitting slogan that nails the essence of the UK’s embattled ‘postal’ ‘service’. Can you distil their dilemma into a pithy phrase?
Your mission: Forge a strapline that’s spot-on, captivating, and cuts right to the truth about the Post Office. Up for grabs? £500 in cash, no strings attached! Remember, wit alone won’t win it – your entry must hit home with our readers, as they’ll be choosing the top slogan.
But wait, there’s more – a Brucie bonus, if you will. If any former executive, from Paula Vennells down, who is eventually charged with a criminal offence, we’ll add £100 to the prize pot. If any are jailed? That’s an extra £500. And if any of them loses their home? We’ll throw in £1,000, whoopee for old testament justice.
Keep it clean, though – flooding us with entries or manipulating the vote will backfire. Play fair or the second-best entry might just snatch your prize.
The winning entry does more than boost your bank balance; it becomes a battle cry, emblazoned on t-shirts with tee-shirt sales proceeds aiding the affected sub postmasters. Seize this chance to stir the pot and perhaps shift the narrative surrounding one of the UK’s most untrusted brands.
Ready to deliver the ultimate Post Office takedown? Get creative and send us a strapline that might just rewrite postal history!”
Here is one to start you off: Post Office: the most corrupt organisation west of the Tiber river.
Voting instructions and closing date to be published here in due course! Get your thinking hats on! Don’t use ChatGPT unless you admit it on the submission form! Use your real name on the submission as we will ask for ID to give you the prize! Small print and privacy policy link at the bottom of the post!
Royal Mail and the Post Office didn’t fully separate until 2012 and this scandal dates back to 1999, so feel free to use Royal Mail or Post Office in your slogan!
On a more serious note. the Met police have now started to investigate Post Office (and presumably Fujitsu Services, Loveless Road, Bracknell, RG12 8SN) for fraud. If you have anything that may help the prosecution, please get in touch with the Metropolitan police or perhaps the JFSA would be happy to put you in touch with an organisation that can help you! I imagine they would especially like to hear from any Fujitsu employees that worked here at BRA01.
The privacy policy specific to the competition is here. Competition small print: don’t be a dick! Our decision is final. If you cannot provide ID to match the name you used, the money will go to the next placed entrant. We may use your winning slogan for anything we want, and you give us permission to do that, so there.