Cashtration
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time
Ignoranus
A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
Intaxication
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation
Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone
The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Foreploy
Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Giraffiti
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
Inoculatte
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Osteopornosis
A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
Karmageddon
It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and its like, a serious bummer.
Decafhalon
The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido
All talk and no action.
Dopeler Effect
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic Fit
The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web
Beelzebug
Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor
The colour you turn when you discover half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
From the internet.